We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just gargled with NyQuil
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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