i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize