found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
