Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
