i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
