I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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