His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
