I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
