Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
