Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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