definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
