Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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