i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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