Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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