i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
