I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
