the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
