I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
two words...techno handjob
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
