So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
