I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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