I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
