Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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