i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
