Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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