Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
