I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
