Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
