Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
