So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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