why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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