oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
