does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize