This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
