I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish my penis had a tongue
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
