I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
