just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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