Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
