let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
