I'm drive I can fine osifer
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
