i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
