Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
