UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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