Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
