I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
