dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
