I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
