OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Enjoy the penises
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
