that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
