Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
