I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
