We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
