I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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