I'm jealous of your bromance
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
