I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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