so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
