I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
