oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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