no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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