im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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