you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
