brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
