I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
