Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
